Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - And it is All Small Stuff
by: Richard Carlson
Topics include: your intuitive heart, moment oriented, practice random, peaceful person
First Sentence:
Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren't really that big a deal.
Reviews:
Amazon.com
Got a stress case in your life? Of course you do: "Without question, many of us have mastered the neurotic art of spending much of our lives worrying about a variety of things all at once." Carlson's cheerful book aims to make us stop and smell--if not roses--whatever is sitting in front of our noses. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... offers 100 meditations designed to make you appreciate being alive, keep your emotions (especially anger and dissatisfaction) in proper perspective, and cherish other people as the unique miracles they are. It's an owner's manual of the heart, and if you follow the directions, you will be a happier, more harmonious person. Like Stairmasters, oat bran, and other things that are good for you, the meditations take discipline. Even so, some of the strategies are kind of fun: "Imagine the people in your life as tiny infants and as 100-year-old adults." The trouble is, once you start, it's hard to stop.
From Library Journal
Stress consultant Carlson reads his self-help guide with conviction, his gentle voice clear and persuasive. He presents common-sense advice for living a less hectic and more meaningful, loving life. His essential message is that we get caught up in minutiae, "the small stuff," and never get around to doing what makes us or our loved ones happy. He advises readers to engage in such small acts as paying someone a compliment daily, putting a lid on keeping track of who does what around the house, and writing a letter to a friend. Carlson urges small daily changes and uses examples of improvement from his own life to show how the advice works, making the book ideally suited to the audio format. Tape quality is excellent. Recommended for public libraries. Nancy R. Ives, SUNY at Geneseo
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From AudioFile
Learning to live in the present, increasing stress tolerance, living each day as if it might be the last, and accepting imperfections consistently are a few of the lessons taught by Dr. Richard Carlson. Calm, convincing, confident and effective, Dr. Carlson stresses the importance of keeping life in perspective, allowing the important things to gain priority, resulting in a more satisfying and centered outlook. Carlson focuses on eliminating many of the complications unknowingly created by the average person. He emphasizes simplicity in daily living by abandoning externally caused stress. Listeners may want a "second listen" of this single-cassette program to ensure long-term results. B.J.P. AudioFile, Portland, Maine
I love this book because it is so small that I can carry it with me in my purse. I like to get it out on a break at work and read a chapter on what I feel I need help with; it always picks me up and encourages me. What simple and brief yet wonderful advice! As I read I highlight the areas most applicable to me so that next time I read it I can read exactly what I most need to hear. Most chapters have a space that I use for notes and comments. Keep in mind that this is not a quick read. To make real changes in your life, I recommend this book should be read slowly, one to three chapters a day. When I first began, I tried to read straight through but it just goes in one ear and out the other. You have to read a chapter, stop, and think about it to best apply it to your life and make it work for you. One of my favorite chapters is chapter six: REMIND YOURSELF THAT WHEN YOU DIE, YOUR "IN BASKET" WON'T BE EMPTY. I think the whole world should read this chapter! Here is an sample: "SO MANY OF US LIVE OUR LIVES AS IF THE SECRET PURPOSE IS TO SOMEHOW GET EVERYTHING DONE....OFTEN WE CONVINCE OURSELVES THAT OUR OBSESSION WITH OUR "TO DO" LIST IS ONLY TEMPORARY--THAT ONCE WE GET THROUGHT THE LIST, WE'LL BE CALM, RELAXED AND HAPPY. BUT IN REALITY, THIS RARELY HAPPENS. AS ITEMS ARE CHECKED OFF, NEW ONES SIMPLY REPLACE THEM. THE NATURE OF YOUR "IN BASKET" IS THAT IT'S MEANT TO HAVE ITEMS TO BE COMPLETED IN IT--IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE EMPTY....REMEMBER THAT NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN SENSE OF HAPPINESS AND INNER PEACE AND THAT OF YOUR LOVED ONES. IF YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH GETTING EVERYTHING DONE, YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A SENSE OF WELL-BEING! IN REALITY, ALMOST EVERYTHING CAN WAIT...THE PURPOSE OF LIFE ISN'T TO GET IT ALL DONE BUT TO ENJOY EACH STEP ALONG THE WAY AND LIVE A LIFE FILLED WITH LOVE." The book is organized, in my opinion, to be read in any order you want. Some chapters may be useful to you and some may not now but perhaps later on in your life. I find it very motivational. I think you will enjoy it also. DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF...AND IT'S ALL SMALL STUFF--WORDS TO LIVE BY!
How to cope with the fiendish pace of the Information Age
A highly-readable little paperback with a different perspective of the generations; your own, those before you, and those soon to follow. The book is enjoying a good run as a best-seller, living proof many among us must be anxiety-ridden and looking for answers.
Say to yourself: "Life isn't an emergency" advises Dr. Carlson, and admits this is his essential strategy on how to keep little things from taking over your life. Then, along with this, he confronts the reader with the realization (often unrecognized) that life is made up of "little things."
Each of the hundred short chapters contains ideas and true-life examples of how to work around the little things so life will be more livable and enjoyable minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour. It would seem that adopting even one of these sometimes profound, sometimes simplistic concepts of living, you can relieve stress in your life; more importantly, life will be a lot more fun.
Examples: Live in the present. When you look around, it's easy to see no one has a guarantee he or she will be here tomorrow; right now is the only time we have control over. When we focus on the present moment, fear of what might happen in the future (and most of these fearful events never happen) goes away so we are more relaxed.
Become more patient. Don't interrupt others or finish their sentences (a sign of impatience that says, "I'm waiting for you to finish so I can talk"). The more patient you are, the more you will accept how it really is, rather than insisting that life should be as you would like it to be. Patience adds ease and acceptance of life so essential for inner peace. Allowing the other person to finish speaking is a mark of patience which improves relationships. Those you are talking with feel more relaxed because they feel you are listening to what they have to say. Result; you enjoy conversations more and are more relaxed rather than rushing through them.
"One thing at a time." Admonishes Carlson. When you do too many things at once, it's impossible to concentrate on the present moment. Result: You cannot fully enjoy the moment because you are less effective and focused.
Here are some chapter titles that illustrate the broad range of anti-anxiety subject matter covered in the book: "Surrender to the Fact that Life Isn't Fair; "Allow Yourself to be Bored; "Seek First to Understand; "Become Aware of Your Moods and Don't Allow Yourself to be Fooled by the Low Ones; "Practice Random Acts of Kindness; "Choose Being Kind Over Being Right; "Every Day, Tell at Least One Person Something You Like, Admire or Appreciate About Them; "Resist The Urge to Criticize; "Write Down Your Five Most Stubborn Positions and See if You Can Soften Them; "Become a Less Aggressive Driver; "Think of What You Have Instead of What You Want; "Think of Your Problems as Potential Teachers; "Get Comfortable Not Knowing; "Remember, One Hundred Years from Now, All New People; "Mind Your Own Business; "Live This Day as if it Were Your Last. It Might Be!"
"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" is a sprightly blend of old ideas and new ideas on how to how to cope with the fiendish pace of the Information Age. You won't recognize most of the old ideas though, because Author Carlson has dressed them up to fit today. In a gentle way, there's something rewarding here for almost everybody.
First of all, I am loathe to trust someone who makes a lot more money than I do. And I am loath to trust someone with a lot more education than me, and who is good looking, has nice clothes and perfect teeth! ( I will trust them when they have a specialty, like engineering or medicine, but not so much when they think they can impart wisdom to me about how to be happy in my life ). I often wish life were so simple that all it took to be happy was to relax and not sweat the small things. I agree it helps but it is no guarantee of happiness. In real life, many people struggle just to have a house to live in, to get food on the table, and to get good medical and dental care for the family. Many of us have constant demands placed on our time and resources. Some work two jobs and still have trouble making ends meet. Others have to live with stereotypes and prejudice. Still others have physical and mental disabilities that add stress. I am not saying there aren't many suggestions that might make a person feel a little bit better temporarily, but following them certainly won't make all of our problems go away. I often think these "gurus" get more out of writing these books than anyone else does: they get to do what they enjoy for a living, make a lot of money at it, and they get to enjoy the lifestyle of other equally pampered, out of touch gurus like themselves. Certainly it does pay to have a "good attitude" but I also think that intelligence, charm, and regrettably, good looks do play a part. I sure this also sounds cynical, but there are times when a "good attitude" may actually get in the way of success. There are times when having a "good attitude" simply means letting the other person have his way, even when he/she doesn't deserve it. It is easy to do this when we already have much of what we need in life, but not so easy to do when we are struggling. I also think an oft-neglected fact is that many people have the advantage of creativity and charm to diffuse difficult situations, while others do not. The people do not are seen as brutes. Once again, it's hard to argue with the message of positivity, but I think self-help "experts" life in a rarefied world. What would happen if they had to live like the rest of us? It'll never happen.